


Does Oikawa Tooru Is Gay?

by Spaceperpetuum



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Autocorrect Woes, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Kageyama Tobio’s Milk Fetish, Oikawa Tooru Uses Perfect Grammar You Can Fight Me On This, Oikawa Tooru is a Dork, Sugaware Koushi Using Outdated Internet Slang, The Trials And Tribulations Of Akaashi Keiji: The Bokuto Handler, chatfic, i could only think of one joke so i repeated it like 6 times and called it humour, i don’t even know how group chats work, originality whom? i don’t know her…, terrible insults, this is pure procrastination so i apologise in advance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 21:23:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14222082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spaceperpetuum/pseuds/Spaceperpetuum
Summary: Owl-Mother: whyKitten: because frick you that’s whySugaSuga: languageThat-Alien-Nerd: languageCreampuff: languageTobio: languageOwl-Mother: languageThe Father: languageThe Son: languageThe Holy Ghost: language





	Does Oikawa Tooru Is Gay?

23:16  
That-Alien-Nerd has added SugaSuga, Creampuff, Tobio, Kitten and Owl-Mother to “Setters' Chat”  
That-Alien-Nerd: Welcome, fellow setters, to the setter chat!   
That-Alien-Nerd: Everybody knows each other, right? 

23:18  
Kitten: why  
Owl-Mother: ^^  
Kitten: also who's creampuff  
That-Alien-Nerd: (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞  
That-Alien-Nerd: Creampuff is my kouhai, Yahaba Shigeru  
That-Alien-Nerd: This chat was made so that we can help each other!  
That-Alien-Nerd: And keep in contact!  
That-Alien-Nerd: And share our experiences, on both college and high school teams!

23:39  
Creampuff: but will that happen  
Creampuff: speaking from the experience of being on another group chat with you  
Creampuff: all you do is gossip and argue about aliens at 3am  
That-Alien-Nerd: I can't believe my own kouhai has such little faith in me!   
Kitten: …   
Kitten: why is that so unbelievable  
That-Alien-Nerd: Kenma-chan, why are you sassing me?   
That-Alien-Nerd: I'll have you know I'm an incredibly supportive and dedicated senpai.   
That-Alien-Nerd: Yahaba back me up.  
Creampuff: no  
Kitten: im sassing you because i finished my game, shouyou is asleep, i want to be asleep, and kuroo is doing homework  
Kitten: and sassing you is easy   
That-Alien-Nerd: !!!!!!!  
That-Alien-Nerd: (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ  
That-Alien-Nerd: I am offended!   
Kitten: and im tired  
Kitten: judging by your recent selfie, you need your 'beauty sleep' too  
Kitten: not that it'll help your complexion much  
Kitten: so how about you sleep on it  
That-Alien-Nerd: …   
That-Alien-Nerd: (o_O) !  
Creampuff: lol  
Owl-Mother: kitten has claws  
Kitten: that applies to everyone  
Kitten: go the frick to sleep  
Owl-Mother: aaawww  
Owl-Mother: lil' baby kitten doesn't swear  
Owl-Mother: how fucking adorable  
Kitten: i will call Bokuto and tell him you've been keeping me up  
Owl-Mother: okay goodnight  
That-Alien-Nerd: G'night, Kenma-chan!

00:23  
Creampuff: wait, @Owl-Mother you're Akaashi from Fukurodani, right?   
Owl-Mother: how could you tell  
Owl-Mother: it's not like our team is famous for our captain literally bringing an owl to a practice match  
Owl-Mother: and it got loose  
Owl-Mother: animal control was called  
Owl-Mother: and our captain chased after the owl, hooting  
Owl-Mother: it's not like everyone involved still has nightmares about it  
Owl-Mother: and it's not like somebody has to accompany our captain to each and every match  
Owl-Mother: and it's not like I have heard the tale of all the other matches Bokuto-san wanted to bring an owl to  
Owl-Mother: because "it won't get loose this time, Akaashi!"  
Owl-Mother: and everybody remembers the crazy owl team  
Creampuff: okay?  
Owl-Mother: sorry, I'm under a lot of stress right now  
Owl-Mother: namely, Bokuto-san   
Creampuff: speaking of Bokuto-san, i was wondering why it mattered that kenma would call him  
Creampuff: from what I've heard, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would care  
Owl-Mother: that's normally true  
Owl-Mother: for any other person, he'd hoot at you and go back to sleep   
Owl-Mother: but for Kenma…  
Owl-Mother: because Kuroo-san's been super busy with college applications lately  
Owl-Mother: and Bokuto-san's already agreed to a scholarship offer  
Owl-Mother: he feels responsible for making sure Kenma's staying safe and sleeping and eating well  
Owl-Mother: because you know pain-in-the-ass-Kuroo-san has a protective streak a mile wide  
Owl-Mother: Bokuto-san has a lot to live up to  
Owl-Mother: so he's being super overprotective of the kitten  
Owl-Mother: he even beats Yaku-san   
Owl-Mother: and because I'm one of his best friends, I have to adhere to his wishes   
Owl-Mother: it's exhausting  
Creampuff: so, what you're saying is that the owl child has become the mother cat  
Owl-Mother: if you must describe it like that, then sure, it's exactly like that  
Creampuff: …  
Creampuff: im sensing a passive-aggressive undertone?   
Owl-Mother: good  
Creampuff: you're more sarcastic than Oikawa-san said you would be  
Owl-Mother: oh really  
Owl-Mother: what else did he say about me?   
Owl-Mother: …  
Owl-Mother: Yahaba? 

01:16  
Owl-Mother: KENMA YOU LITTLE SHIT  
Owl-Mother: HE CALLED BOKUTO-SAN, JESUS FUCK DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME KITTEN? 

06:01  
SugaSuga: lmao akaashi, you just got rekt  
SugaSuga: also, to reiterate the questions spiralling earlier, what exactly is the real purpose of this chat?   
SugaSuga: i know Oiks well enough to say with confidence that it isn't just for the wholesome reasons that were recited earlier

06:25  
SugaSuga: lmao patched

06:52   
Tobio: Sugawara-senpai?   
Owl-Mother: wow Sugawara-san, i didn't realise you spoke like that online  
Owl-Mother: also, did you really expect Oikawa-san to be awake to answer your question at six?   
SugaSuga: lmao owly and jags don't ya think that maybe you guys are the ones who speak weirdly online  
SugaSuga: like all grammar and shit  
SugaSuga: *kags goddamnit  
Tobio: What did I do?!  
SugaSuga: nothing sweetie, I'm annoyed at Autocorrect  
Tobio: okay mom  
Tobio: *SENPAI  
Owl-Mother: there's the Sugawara-san we know and love

07:20  
That-Alien-Nerd: Akaashi, do you ever sleep?   
Owl-Mother: nope  
Owl-Mother: im 90% caffeine rn  
That-Alien-Nerd: And, Suga, to answer your question…  
That-Alien-Nerd: …I'm booooored, okay?   
That-Alien-Nerd: ヽ(ー_ー )ノ  
That-Alien-Nerd: Nationals are over, so I'm not fuelled by spite.   
That-Alien-Nerd: All I've got to do now before college is study.   
That-Alien-Nerd: It's so repetitive, and I want a little excitement before the exams.   
SugaSuga: that's too relatable  
SugaSuga: but I still have to deal with the freak duo  
SugaSuga: the anxious ones  
SugaSuga: the feisty children  
SugaSuga: and Tsukishima   
SugaSuga: also stressed Daichi  
SugaSuga: our marriage is falling apart  
SugaSuga: so i want less excitement  
Owl-Mother: at least you don't have Bokuto-san   
SugaSuga: ikr, could be worse  
Owl-Mother: he's hooting angrily at me because of the Kenma incident *cough* backstabbing *cough*   
SugaSuga: lmao rekt 

08:03  
Kitten: suga-san, please never attempt to use memes or slang again  
Kitten: it just seems wrong  
Kitten: like a stereotypical grandmother using every curse word in the book when she realises her cookies are over-baked  
Tobio: I like that analogy.   
SugaSuga: your insults are cheap, bitch, just like your manicure  
Owl-Mother: …wtf  
That-Alien-Nerd: Lmao, Suga you savage.  
Creampuff: get rekt kitten  
Owl-Mother: do you country bumpkins have no standard for insults   
Owl-Mother: Kenma you should be practicing  
Kitten: I do what I want  
Owl-Mother: I'll tell Bokuto-san   
Kitten: I'm putting my phone down now  
Owl-Mother: good kitty  
Kitten: thanks mom  
Owl-Mother: istg   
Owl-Mother: why

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!   
> Don’t expect regular updates or quality writing because this is literally what I’m doing instead of studying for my national exams.


End file.
